Monday, 12 May 2014

Cool Change

Welcome,

Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful mums out there!  I hope you all enjoyed your day of appreciation, and, of course got very, very spoilt!


Some people have asked me, why the name Cool Change Creations...well obvious to those who know me, I love being creative....I find craft inspiring and challenging...and its also the name of my favourite song 'Cool Change' by the Little River Band, released in 1979. 

 I have cried during this song, and have been elated as well.

Why it means so much to me....


A while ago I separated from my husband, and life was turned upside down, not only for me and the boys but for my ex-husband as well.  Not long after our separation I started a relationship with a man I had known for at least 20 years, we were good friends, and didn't see what was to come...

This man, in the time we were together he had destroyed any confidence and self worth I had for myself.  This man abused me, not only physically, but emotionally and financially.  I can understand why some women stay with men like this, they draw you in with their 'caring and concerned' personality, promise you the world when all seems lost.
When they have you in hook, line and sinker their claws start to come out. Bit by bit they begin to destroy you from the inside out, so much so, that by the end you are left feeling that if you don't have them, you have, and are nothing, worthless.
Men like this break you....they make it so hard to see that you ARE strong and ARE worth something.

That is what happened to me, he was the nicest person in the beginning which attracted me to him, then as he slowly destroyed me I saw no way out, I was stuck. We began a business together, I put so much of my own finances in constantly being assured by him that "I would get it all back", and never did, there was always an excuse...not putting in the effort he should have to help make the business a success.   I couldn't tell him what to do, as, according to him I knew nothing and was told to keep my mouth shut.  If I tried to stand up for myself, he would threaten to kill himself and do it in front of the boys and I, so I succumbed....and I stayed.... There were times he would fly off the rails for no apparent reason and the boys and I had to stay with our neighbours across the road.  He was also an alcoholic, drinking during the day on the job, (was advised not to) then at least another 10 beers each and every night....he couldn't see he has a problem....maybe part of me stayed to help him... I now realise he wasn't the one who needed help, I was.  This is just who he is and will always be.  He simply doesn't care.  I did find out later that he also left a path of destruction with his ex-wife and her family, leaving them bankrupt.  They ended up moving interstate to be as far away from him as they could.

Believe me, there is so much more I could write...I simply can't express the amount of pain this man inflicted on me emotionally.

The relationship finally come to a head when he tried to end my life.  It was late at night, I was having a discussion with him about how he no longer showed me affection or cared, it got heated and ended in him getting on top of me to hold me down whilst he punched me in the face then tried to choke me whilst saying 'I'll end this now'.  All I could think of was my two boys.  

He eventually let me go and I locked myself in the bathroom, crying....then he ever so nicely apologised... I didn't call the police, I was so scared of him...I was broken.
During the commotion that night there was a thunderstorm with very loud cracks of thunder and I remember thinking that if the boys didn't hear the thunder, then they wouldn't have heard their mother breaking. 

This man took everything from me...

I eventually ended up taking him to court and got an intervention order against him.

I put the company into liquidation.  Knowing you have lost everything you worked hard for is like falling into a hole of never ending darkness and endless despair.  It was a very dark period of my life.

I, however, unlike so many had the support of a great friend. She tried to get me to see what he was really like, but I was looking through rose-coloured glasses and couldn't see what she and many others saw. 
Some friends would have given up, but she didn't, she stood by me and gave the boys and I a place to escape - we were to live with her and her two children until I found a place of our own. She not only gave us a place to stay, but a place to begin the healing process. I am humbled and will be forever grateful for her support.

My family were also a great support when I made the decision to leave.

After a while I was able to find a place for the boys and I to move into.  Finally, our lives were getting back on track. My healing still ongoing.


I believe in fate and believe that people come into our lives to either teach us a lesson (one I have learnt the hard way) or to help us heal.


Not long after, I met Brad, the man who I believe was sent from above to me.  Most men would have left, as I was still going through the healing process and sometimes a complete wreck.  He obviously saw something in me I didn't at the time.  To myself, I thought I didn't deserve anything.... he slowly, and very gently began to change my thought process....and to heal me.  Brad is the most amazing person and is my best friend.  He has taught me how to laugh, love and live again.  He has been my rock and my safe haven.  He loves my boys as if they were his own and they love him too.  He has taught me how a woman is to be treated, with respect, love, comfort, support and confidence.  I don't think that he will ever understand how much abundance he has brought into not only my life, but the boys too.  I ask him every so often what I did to deserve such a beautiful person as him to come into my life...his response, 'I thank you for coming into my life'.  I think we have healed each other.


Sometimes I still wake up crying over the past, but when I wipe the tears away I see my future laying right next to me and know it'll be a bright one!

Brad is my life's Cool Change. 


My ex-husband and his new wife are now good friends with Brad and I.

If you haven't heard it, please listen, it's such a beautiful song.




Have a wonderful day and thank you for stopping by.
 Carolyn


2 comments:

  1. Carolyn, I'm so glad you got away from that horrible situation and found true love. Thanks for sharing your story!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Tracy. I'm grateful that I had the support to get out when I felt so empty and lost. I am also thankful for Brad coming into my life and showing me how to live a full life again.

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